Guest Blog: The Radical Choice to Love: Moving Beyond Emotion to Action - Charlene Molina

 

Love is everywhere in our lives. We love our families, our friends, our favorite foods, our cherished vacations. We express love in countless ways—a pat on the back, a spontaneous kiss on the cheek, scratching a child's back while they eat their snack. These small gestures weave through our daily routines, reminding those around us that they matter, that they're seen, that they're valued.

But what happens when love becomes difficult? What happens when we're called to love not just those who make us feel warm inside, but those who have wounded us deeply?

Love as a Commandment

Jesus didn't offer love as a suggestion or a nice idea to consider when convenient. He gave it as a commandment: "This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you" (John 15:12).

That's a tall order. Jesus loved us to the point of death—a deliberate, intentional sacrifice for people who didn't deserve it. He didn't die for His friends alone, but for strangers, for enemies, for those who would mock and betray Him.

Most of us wouldn't volunteer to be convicted and executed for a crime we didn't commit, especially not for someone we don't know. Yet this is the standard of love we're called to emulate—not just feeling affection, but making a choice that costs us something.

When Love Requires Boundaries

Here's an important truth: loving someone who has hurt us doesn't mean we've forgotten what happened. Love doesn't demand we ignore betrayal or pretend wounds don't exist. We're allowed—even wise—to establish boundaries with people who have caused us harm.

You don't have to have family dinner with someone who has deeply wounded you. You don't have to travel with them or put yourself in vulnerable situations. But you do have to forgive them. You do have to release the ill will. You do have to move forward without harboring bitterness in your heart.

This is where love moves from emotion to action, from feeling to choice.

The Anatomy of Genuine Love

Romans 12:9-10 gives us a blueprint: "Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor."

What does genuine love look like in practice?

Genuine love is authentic. It's not hypocritical or filled with empty promises. It's honest without being cruel, truthful without being weaponized.

Genuine love rejects evil. We hate sin the way we hate the hell it leads to, but we still love the sinner. This distinction is crucial—we can oppose what someone does while still caring about who they are.

Genuine love clings to good. The Greek word used here literally means to be glued or cemented to what is good. Imagine taking Gorilla Glue and attaching yourself to goodness so firmly that nothing can separate you from it.

Genuine love shows affection. This is the brotherly love we see in healthy communities—the hugs, handshakes, fist bumps, and warm greetings that say, "I see you, and I'm glad you're here."

Genuine love aims to outdo others in kindness. Imagine a world where every person tried to outdo someone else in showing kindness. What if we competed not for status or wealth, but for who could be most generous, most patient, most compassionate?

The Challenge of Choosing Positivity

This kind of love requires us to intentionally look for the positive rather than dwelling on the negative. Instead of complaining that rain has ruined outdoor plans, we can thank God for much-needed water. Instead of spreading unverified information or propagating negativity on social media, we can pause, verify, and choose what we share carefully.

In today's world, where artificial intelligence can create convincing fakes and misinformation spreads faster than truth, we have a responsibility to be people who substantiate before we propagate. We can't just repeat what we see on social media without verification.

What if we stopped grumbling about our burdens and aimed to outdo everyone with kindness instead? We'd stop sounding like Eeyore—"Woe is me. I was so upset I forgot to be happy. Could be worse. Don't know how, but it could be."

When we turn things around and look for the good, our outlook shifts from dark to light, from sad to happy. We start seeing silver linings and finding positives even in negative situations.

Love in Action: Sacrifice and Commitment

Love isn't just a feeling—it's doing what's best for others, even when it's costly.

Love involves sacrifice. It might mean altering our plans because something more important needs our attention. It could mean buying someone a meal because they're down on their luck, or canceling something we wanted to do because someone else has a dire need.

Love involves commitment. It means staying true to what we've promised, not spreading information told to us in confidence, and following through on plans even when we're not in the mood.

First Corinthians 13, the famous "love chapter," teaches us that when we love unconditionally, we show patience, kindness, and caring. Patience means bearing with others when they push our buttons, going over something repeatedly without losing our temper, helping someone learn their phone for the tenth time because they need our help.

We're patient with toddlers learning to walk and eat. Can we extend that same patience to adults who are struggling?

And here's a tough one: we shouldn't be so irritable that people feel they have to walk on eggshells around us. Nobody should fear breathing wrong in our presence.

The Radical Call: Love Your Enemies

Perhaps the most challenging teaching Jesus gave us about love is found in Matthew 5:43-45: "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven."

The Jews had inferred that if they were to love their neighbors, they must hate their enemies. Jesus corrected this misunderstanding. We're called to love our enemies—not to like what they've done, but not to wish them ill will either.

We're to speak kindly of them and to them. We're to pray for those who persecute us. We're to give good words in response to their bad words.

One mother taught her son this principle when he was being picked on: "Kill them with kindness." When we return persecution with kindness, it throws people for a loop. They expect a reaction—fighting back or running away crying. When we don't give them that, it disrupts their entire system.

As children of God, we must be better than the children of this world. It's easy to love those we like. It requires real effort and choice to love those who have come against us. But that's exactly what Christ tells us we must do.

Ephesians 4:32 reminds us: "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Love as the Antidote to Sin

Love is the antidote to envy, shame, and selfishness. Love relieves guilt and offers fresh starts.

But we're human. Some of us keep mental records of wrongs done to us, filing them away to pull out later when we want to even the score. Peter reminds us that "love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8).

When we love well, it shows compassion even when it isn't deserved. God's love is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love (Psalm 103:8). Our love for others should reflect these same qualities.

Proverbs 10:12 puts it plainly: "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses."

Practical Steps Forward

So how do we allow our love to overcome sin?

We limit how often we vent to others about our spouse, family, friends, or others. We don't keep track of wrongs as ammunition. If we're hurt, we set boundaries, but we don't hold onto offenses forever.

Forgiving isn't easy. Sometimes we have to do it over and over. That's why we must ask God to help us forgive just as He has forgiven us. We must learn to let it go rather than brooding over it. We must trust God with our loved ones' hearts and minds.

It's easy to gossip, to make mental notes of others' wrongdoings, but that's not a gift of the Holy Spirit. God knows everything that's happened, and judgment belongs to Him alone.

Unconditional love covers offenses and keeps no records of wrongs.

The Question That Remains

Do you need to tear up any mental lists of offenses you've