Transparency


So, at her goodbye party, Michelle challenged us to be more transparent. Here goes my first attempt.

I don’t usually write about my personal life on Facebook, both because I am a private person and second because I’m always concerned about what people will think. One of my shortcomings is that I have always been a people pleaser. As such, I tend to stay away from personal or controversial topics. No more.

The time has come to take a bold personal stand for the sake of Christ. I am passionately in love with Jesus. However, I don’t always live that way. I have my struggles and if I want Him to stand up for me on Judgment Day; I need to stand for Him now.

While I have a wonderful wife who is my best friend, I don’t have any close male friends and I struggle with loneliness. I have tried to reach out to guys but unless I initiate interactions, those relationships tend to go nowhere.

I finally realized that if I want a friend, I am going to have to open up to someone and tell them what I am going through and what I am looking for in a friendship. I have to stop assuming that people can read my mind.

I have gotten to a certain age, education and position within the church that most people look at me as an elder statesman, as the person with experience and wisdom that you go to when you have a problem. Why is that? Well, it’s because that is who I let them see. Most people don’t see me as just a man like any other man with all the struggles and temptations that they have.

Believe me; I have lots of issues, lots of struggles. What I do have on my side is experience and knowledge. I have a God on whom I completely depend on and He has given me a wife who is a gift and whom is very patient and loving with me. Still, with all of that I still struggle and tend towards depression and isolation.

I am just a man doing his best to follow Christ and to model Jesus’ love to others. I am not perfect and I don’t have it all figured out. I struggle just like you.

The next time you see me, try to see the man behind the job description. I will do my best to see the person that God created you to be and not your struggles.

Comments

  1. Pamela SingletonMay 27, 2019 at 6:07 PM

    Love it, Jay. Thanks for sharing your heart and leading by example.

    ReplyDelete
  2. JulieJulzMay 27, 2019 at 6:41 PM

    You are right when you say that people look at you as an elder statesman, a person who has everything together as if you have figured it all out...well that’s the way of the World and the place I was once in. Of course it’s a lie! So I want to take the time to thank you for your humility and your desire to point people to Jesus. Depression? Just a state of mind! Don’t entertain—as I’ve learned and keep learning to demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. I love you❤️

    ReplyDelete
  3. MicaMay 28, 2019 at 7:27 AM

    So amazing!I know this isn't easy but I also know in my heart how important it is. When all of our pain and struggles are out darkness looses its power. I too have struggled with anxiety trust issues but praise God He has given me a bew life . I am so proud of you as a man ,Child of God and our leader.
    Love you and will always encourage you and keep you lifted in prayer

    ReplyDelete
  4. JosieMay 28, 2019 at 10:48 AM

    It's not easy to be vulnerable and open up to people. Please know it means a lot to me to read this. I have my issues I battle with everyday, some days better than others. I don't know if this will make any sense but from the bottom of my heart thank you for being real. I have to remind myself, that my transparency, may help someone who is suffering in silence. I say this because I was once that person suffering in silence and it was because of someone's transparency that I knew I wasn't alone.

    Again, thank you Pastor Jay

    ReplyDelete
  5. UnknownMay 28, 2019 at 12:46 PM

    First I would like to say, Thank you for opening up yourself like this, it’s very brave and I know I appreciate it. Second, You are not just an elder statesman, you are a good person with a strong love of the Lord, with a good and compassionate heart and also a person I am pleased to call friend. Third, No one can go through life without support of friends. Male or female doesn’t matter. If you feel that you should have more male friends and God is calling you to do that then that is what you should do. Dios de bendiga!
    Melissa

    ReplyDelete
  6. KathyJune 9, 2019 at 8:24 PM

    I did not see this until just now after seeing part 2 and searching for part 1. Thank you for this transparency and the vulnerability it takes to share.Love for one another grows when the walls come down. I have mine too and pray we all get as real and true together as is possible in Him.

    ReplyDelete

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